Nine Good Reasons
by Beyond-BB-Birthday
Summary: Stan's done wrong to his Super Best Friend. Can he make things right by giving Kyle his nine reasons why he did it? Style.
1. Nine

This is the unfortunate result of writer's block. Anyways, to anyone who's read my story The Tweek Letters, this is going to be similar, but with likely more letters. But you don't have to read that one to understand this one, and they're not related. Alors. Enjoy.

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Dear Kyle,

Hey, dude. I haven't heard from you since April! I know I really don't deserve to hear from you, but I thought it would've been like you to have called or something. Guess I don't know you too well anymore, do I? It's been so long. Too long.

Well, I know you're still pissed, and I don't blame you. Before you shit-can this, I just want to tell you something.

I'm sorry, and I still love you more than ever.

I know, I know, I'm probably too late. But just hear me out. I know what I did was wrong. Terrible. But, if you're still reading this, then I've got nine (relatively) good reasons for what I did. Read them all thoroughly, and give me the benefit of the doubt. I need you, Kyle, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. But I promise that I can change.

Anyways, onto my list. It's entitled, 'Nine Decent Reasons To Break off a Wedding'.

One. Things were too good to be true. I think we were pushing it too far, Ky. Maybe we made a good couple, a good pair of friends, but I just thought that we were taking too big of a risk with this. I didn't want things to get ugly and have to divorce and so that we couldn't be friends at the end. Don't you agree?

Two. You invited your mother to stay with us _two weeks_ before the wedding! I just figured this was a sure-fire sign that things were going south. You know how much your mother hates me, and I just didn't understand why the hell you wanted us to be in the same house for two whole weeks. I figured something must've been wrong.

Three. Now, you're going to have a good laugh over this one. You want kids, and I don't. I know, it sounds stupid, but I read that that's how lots of marriages end badly. One of them wants kids and the other doesn't, so they fight and decide they can't be together. I honestly believe that I can't be happy if we were to adopt a kid. You probably think I'm over-exaggerating, but I've thought it through pretty well. But, believe as you will.

Four. You admitted that you were attracted to Kenny. While we were going out. I know you said that you got over it, but I don't think you have. I'm not saying that I think your lying, I just think that, on some level, your subconscious is still attracted to him. And I know I said that I didn't, but I _do_ have a problem with it. It's hard for me to think about. It makes me jealous. But that makes me sound like a pussy, so, in short, I don't like you liking someone else while were together, and I don't know what I'd do if that had happened if we were married.

Five. Remember that fight we had last January about you working too much? Yeah, the one where I hit you. I think about that way too much. I don't want to get into an abusive marriage - while I don't think it will ever turn out like that, I'm afraid of my anger going off again like that one time. It shouldn't even have happened the first time, and I sure as hell don't want it to happen again. But I'm so worried that it will. And I don't know if I could stand having to look at anymore bruises I put on you ever again.

Six. I had a bad hair day. End of story.

Seven. The day of the ceremony, it rained. You know just as well as me that it's bad luck when it rains on your wedding day. I figured it was a sign.

Eight. It took us fifteen years of knowing one another before I was ready for something more than friendship. So saying that I was afraid of commitment was the understatement of the year. It was hard for me to agree to get engaged, but I figured we could wait a while before actually tying the knot. I guess I can't really complain, after all, we waited a whole year. You waited for me, and I felt bad holding you back when I knew I loved you, you loved me, and that it was what you wanted. But to be honest, I don't know if I'd have ever truly been ready, and that wasn't fair to you. But when the time came, I just panicked.

Nine. My dad said that if I married a man, he would stop speaking to me. I never told you because I didn't want you to think I was weak, but I am. My dad has the magical power to make you feel like the biggest fag on this side of the Earth.

Well, that's it for my nine _good_ reasons. But none of them are really _good_, considering there honestly is no good reason to leave the person you love at the altar. But, I figured you deserved to know why I had to do it. And that is why I have one more list to share with you. This list, however, consists of only one reason.

It's called, 'The Biggest, Crappiest, Most Pathetic Reason In The World For Breaking Off A Wedding'.

One. I have been cheating on you with Wendy Testaburger since we got engaged. I got her pregnant and she wanted me to move in with her and help her raise the baby. I know, I'm a terrible person. And I sure as hell won't disagree - but I didn't leave you because I'm moving in with her. I broke off our wedding because of these ten reasons, but also _because_ I'm a terrible person. I know you can do better than me, Kyle. You deserve someone who won't cheat. And, though there will never be anyone who loves you more than I do, I hope you can be happy with that person.

Well, Cartman turned out being Wendy's baby's father, so she left me. I didn't care, though. I was too distracted by the fact that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I hurt you. What's more was that I'd been hurting you from the beginning.

So here I am. I'm not writing this letter to ask for forgiveness, because I don't deserve or expect it. I just felt like you should know that it's my fault, not yours.

Your Super Best Friend Forever, No Matter What, Until The End of Time,

Stan Marsh

P.S.: No matter how you take this letter, I love you, and I always will.

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Review, oui?


	2. Eight

Dear Stan,

How's it going, backstabber? Stabbed any good backs lately? I know, I know. There's nothing as fulfilling as stabbing your Super Best Friend in the back. The ultimate stab of backstabbings.

Well, I know you didn't ask, but I'm doing just fine, thank you. Me? Oh, my life's great. _Thanks for asking._

Stan, I don't know what to say. You're an idiot for thinking that writing me a letter all sad like is going to make me feel any fucking different. I don't need you. Maybe you need me, but the fact is, I just don't really give a damn. You had your chance, and now I've moved on with my life. _Away_ from you.

Now, I'll never live up to your 'Nine Good Reasons' legacy, but I've got a list of my own to share with your backstabbing self, Stanley. It is entitled, "Eight Excellent Reasons Not To Forgive Stan Marsh For Being A Douche."

Great title, eh?

Anyways. Number one: You don't deserve me. Honestly, Stan, you don't. I've always been there for you, to help you when you had no one else, to save you from doing stupid shit that would wreck your life and to protect you from all the bad things out there. You? You walked out on our wedding. And that's it, that's all you've done for me. You ruined our friendship, how about that? I'm not being arrogant: I'm having some self-respect.

Number two: You think that everything is about you. I invited my mother to stay with us, so that _must_ mean that I hate you. I want kids and you don't, so it _has_to be your way, or else. You had a 'bad hair day', so you left me. It's all about _you_, isn't it, Stan?

Number three: You're a fucking hypocritical moron. If you look over your letter, to, I believe, reason four, it states that one reason you left me is because I admitted to being attracted to Kenny. And then, down to your second 'list', BOOM! You were cheating on me. Do you get what I'm saying? I hope even you can understand the sheer stupidity of your mind's logic there, can't you? I told you I liked Kenny in _tenth grade_, Stan! We're twenty three! Kenny's married! You must be seriously mentally ill if you think I still have feelings for him that originated eight fucking years ago.

Number four: You have no consideration for me. You thought that you leaving me was for my own good, because you're a terrible person and I deserve better. But if you really wanted what's best for me, you would've fucking married me, Stan. I loved you. And then you just left. You thought _that_ was a _good idea_?

Number five: You honestly have no idea how badly you hurt me. You think that writing a goddamn letter will make everything better? This isn't some gay after school special, this is reality. Do you realize how embarrassing it was to have Butters come up to me in front of my family, our friends and your parents and say 'Stan told me to tell you that he's not coming after all.' I think that was the moment my heart broke, right there. Congrats.

Number six: I'm addicted to you. I've been with you so long (and never cheated, by the way,) that sex with anyone but you feels like shit. Kissing anyone but you feels wrong. I lost almost a decade of my life with you that I'll never get back. And still I'm not normal.

Number seven: You're an asshole. I don't even give a shit about most of your retarded reasons except the one where you informed me about you cheating. That's just plain mean, Stan. Cheating on someone you supposedly love is mean. Simple as that.

Number eight: I still love you. I hate it, too. I gave everything I had to you, you ripped me apart, and I still can't let you go. That's not to say, however, that you're forgiven.

I could go on and on about what a dick you are and how much I hate you, but there would really be no point. You and I both know that what you did was wrong. So instead, I'll present you with my own one-reasoned list.

It's entitled, 'One Slightly Less Excellent Reason Not To Forgive Stan Marsh For Being A Douche.'

Number one: I'm completely and utterly jealous. I am so jealous that you wanted to cheat on me with Wendy that my pride won't allow myself to forgive you. I guess that's partly my fault: you and I were together for so long that I didn't know what it would feel like when you left me for someone else.

I'm not going to apologize, however, because none of this would've happened if not for you.

I guess that about does it. Write back if you have any more life-altering secrets you'd like to share.

Your Ex Best Friend,

Kyle Broflovski.

P.S.: Go fuck yourself.


	3. Seven

Dear Kyle,

I'm not going to bullshit you, Kyle. I did stab you in the back - but it's not like I wanted to. Anyways, I'm sorry.

You were my best friend, and I did something bad to you, and I apologize. I want you to know that everything you said was true and that I am a bad person. I don't deserve you, Kyle. You were completely right, and I am a jerk.

But that doesn't mean you had to say it like that.

I'm not saying that you went too far, but you certainly could've toned it down a bit, at least. You know how bad I already felt, and your endless slur of obscenities was not exactly appreciated. I know I was wrong, you know I was wrong, and the whole world knows I was wrong, so you didn't have to tell me. Repeatedly.

Well, seeing as how we've fallen into a nice pattern here, I have yet another list for you, Ky. Seven this time. It's called Seven Half-Decent Reasons Why Kyle Broflovski Should Forgive Stan Marsh For Being A Dick.

Christ, can we drop some of the words in these damn titles?

Anyways. One. I was at least decent enough to acknowledge how much of a dick I was. Seriously, Kyle, how many people out there do you know that have the guts to write to their ex-fiancee about why he left him? How many do you know that would tell their ex-fiancee about him cheating? To be honest, I really thought I was doing the right thing in telling you. I thought you would've been at least considerate of how much I went through mentally to force myself to do that.

Two. You even said it yourself: you loved me. I was good for you. You don't feel right and normal without me around. Isn't that reason enough to take me back? Don't you want to be happy? Think about it: I'm not happy without you, you're not happy without me. It's not exactly rocket science, solving this problem.

Three. I'm so sorry that words can't even describe how sorry I am. I'm so guilty that there are no feelings worse than mine of guilt. I can't stop thinking about it - about you. And I'll never be able to stop until you forgive me. I know you don't think I deserve you, but notice that I wrote back. The fact that I wrote back proves that I still want you, and how devoted I am to you.

Four. You're right - I was stupid to think that leaving you would be good for you. But at least I realize how stupid I was. I realize it, and I'm doing everything I can to better myself. All for you, Kyle.

Five. You're jealous. Jealousy is a feeling that is the result of something or someone you love being taken or stolen from you. Maybe that's not the true Webster's definition, but I think it fits. In short, you can't be jealous without first having something that would make you jealous if someone else had it. I know that doesn't really make sense, but do you get what I mean? You loved me so completely that the thought of me being with Wendy crushed you - don't you think it's kind of beautiful that someone could make you feel that way?

Six. What else can we do? Are you going to let this ruin your life? I know you said that you've moved on, but frankly, I think that's a load of bullshit.

Seven. I still love you, too. And when two people love each other, they get married and have a happy life together. And I think we still have a shot at it.

And there you have it. The best arguments I could think of. And Kyle, I thought long and hard. Another example of how much I need you. I didn't just slap this list together on a Monday morning, I actually thought about it.

Anyways, to follow our usual tradition, I do have one more list. One Kinda Shitty Reason For Kyle Broflovski To Forgive Stan Marsh.

One. I fucking need you. I'm a wreck without you, Kyle. I know you said that you don't need me and that you don't care if I need you, but I know that if I can't fix this soon, I'll die without you. All my life I took you for granted, and now that you're gone, I can't function without you by my side. It's not like I'm using you - I'm just telling you the truth. I love you, and I need you.

Once again, I'm sorry. I know things will probably never be truly fixed or truly better, but anything is better than this.

Love you.

Stan.

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A/N: Sorry for another slow update... *sigh* Review? Please?


	4. Six

Dear Stan,

You are the fucking biggest, stupidest ass on the planet. You do realize that, right? Because if you don't see just how retarded you're being, then you're honestly nothing more than an under-evolved orangutan.

God, Stan, you're not doing yourself any favours by being an arrogant prick. You're not making this easy for me to take you back. As much as I want to believe that you can change, and you can smarten up and get your shit together, I'm just not seeing it right now. Example A: you think I'm an idiot. That's obviously the only reason you'd expect me to take you back by saying 'I'm sorry' a hundred different ways.

Nope. You're going to have to do a _lot_ better.

Firstly, I'd just like to say that being a total pussy never got anyone anywhere. Getting upset at how 'mean' I was to you is not a valid argument. At least, it hasn't been since kindergarten. Get over yourself. Yeah, I was mean. But you deserved it.

Secondly, good job! You picked up on our 'coincidental' pattern, all on your own! Good for you. Well, I don't like to disappoint, so I guess I'll have to follow suit. I have a few different suggestions for this next list. "Six Reasons Stan Is an Idiot." or, "Six Ways Stan Needs To Smarten Up." Or even, "Six Reasons Stan Should Go Fuck Himself." Take your pick, I'm not _married_ to any of them. You?

Number one. Stan, come on. Stop pissing me off. You're just being self-centered and arrogant when you say that I should forgive you. You've done nothing to gain my respect. You talk a great game about how 'sorry' you are and all that BULLSHIT, but yet, you still live with Cartman in South Park. It's been four months since your first letter, and you're not enough of a man to drive down to Denver to come and see me? To even try and show me that you love me? You hide behind a letter every couple of weeks. You're afraid to face me. Yeah, you must be real sorry.

Number two. It's too hard to throw my dignity in the toilet, because that's what you're asking of me. You think this is an easy fix. After all the fights we've had with day-after reconciliations and make-up sex, you think that this is going to be the same. But it's not. It takes some thought. Some balls. Are you working on growing some?

Number three. Stan, I do want to be happy. But if being happy for a while is just going to lead to ultimate unhappiness when you do something like this again, then it's not worth it. And I know it will happen again. That's just who you are.

Number four. Jealousy. Pretty good definition, Stan. Kudos. It's too bad you're a fucking idiot. Of course I love you! Of course I'm going to be jealous when you tell me you're cheating on me! Doesn't that make some logical sense at all? That doesn't mean it's 'beautiful'. Sadness is not beautiful. Unfaithfulness is not beautiful, Stan. Stop being so damn emo and get a dictionary.

Number five. I'm bullshitting you, you're bullshitting me. That's the essence of a relationship. I haven't moved on, obviously. Had I been able to move on, I would've moved on a long time ago. I would've burned your letter without opening it the first time it came. Just because I can't move on doesn't mean you being around will help. You'd just be enabling my inability to cope. Having you around would ruin me. Until you can prove otherwise, you can go sleep in a dumpster for all I care.

Number six. "When two people love each other they get married and be happy." Wow, I see the light. Thank you for the eternal solution to life, the universe and our existence. Praise Stan, for he has surely uncovered the secret of the world in his highly intelligent statement. I didn't know you had such a profound ass - because I know that's where this bull came from. I wanted to get married and be happy. Obviously, you didn't. So fuck you.

Well, I have a few more zingers for you, but I wouldn't want to ruin our nicely formed countdown. I bet we're all pretty excited to see what happens when we run out of numbers, huh?  
Anyways, I have another list, as promised. It's called, "One More Reason I'm Still Not Forgiving Stan Marsh For Being A Backstabbing Douche."

I agree, we do have to drop some of the words in these ridiculous titles.

Number one. It's all about you. It always has been. You're so 'sorry'. You can't live without me. You're a wreck without me. You, you, you. I know that you're only doing this for yourself. You even said it yourself: you'd die without me. A prime example of how arrogant and self-centered you are. You don't give a shit about my feelings after all that crap you said. You left me at our wedding, and all you care about is how sad you are? Unbelievable.

You're doing this for you, not for me. And until you can turn that around, we won't be getting anywhere.

Kyle.

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A/N: :o Lookit me! 2 updates in 2 days! *Pats self on back*

Well, I dunno yet. Should Kyle take him back? Or should he throw him out with the trash? Review!


	5. Five

Dear Kyle,

Now you're just being stubborn. You think I'm being arrogant by trying to win you back? You think I'm stupid for sacrificing every morsel of dignity I have for you?

Kyle, I love you. But I just can't believe that you think I would do all of this just for myself. Yeah, I do need you. But you need me, too. And now,_ you're_ the arrogant one for not admitting it.

You said something about me thinking you're an idiot that would take me back by saying sorry a million times. Well, Kyle, answer me this: what else do you want me to do? I've said sorry every way I can and you still don't believe me. I've told you I was wrong, I was stupid, I was an asshole, and yet, you still have the balls to hate me with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

Well, I'm sick to death of it. I just don't know what you want me to do.

So, I'll give you another list. "Five Reasons Stan Marsh Deserves Kyle Broflovski." Ha, only seven words that time.

One. I've done everything in my power to get your respect. Why haven't I come to visit you, you ask? Maybe because you hate me. Ever think of that?

Two. It's been six months since my first letter. Nine months since the wedding. Just to be perfectly clear, I don't think this is going to be an easy fix. This isn't a day-after make-up-sex fight. I know that. I knew from the moment I hitched a ride back to South Park that this was going to take time. I just hope it doesn't have to take forever. Don't you?

Three. I've lost sleep over what I've done to you. I've pretty much stopped living because it's not really living without you around, Kyle. What I'm trying to say is, this will never happen again. If you can find it in your heart to take me back, I will never leave you. I'll marry you a hundred times. I'll do anything just to keep you. If you want to be happy by being with me, I can promise you that you'll be happy forever.

Four. You think that bullshit is the essence of a relationship? Now that is bullshit. Maybe there's a reason neither of us can move on. Maybe fate knows we belong with each other. You know why you didn't burn up all my letters? Because you know that you need me.

Five. I just needed time. I didn't want to rush into anything, and I was right. If you'd given me half a year, maybe we'd be together right now. Basically, this can be fixed. Maybe not fast or simply, but I know we can be happy together. We just need time. _I_ just need time.

I know what I did was wrong. Cheating on you was wrong. Ditching our wedding was wrong. I realize that. But don't you think we've both suffered enough, Ky? You have the power to change everything. You can make it right again. I will never hurt you again, Kyle, because when you're hurt, so am I.

This isn't all about me, contrary to your beliefs. I'm concerned for both of us. A relationship isn't centered around just one person, but two. That's why I'm doing this. For both of us.

I'll leave you with one last list. "One Reason Stan Marsh Can't Let Kyle Broflovski Go."

One. You mean everything to me, and I never want you to be sad. I've hurt you, but not being with me is hurting you too, I know it is. Because even though I love you with every inch of my body, I know you love me more, because you've never done anything bad to me. Until now. By keeping this fight going, we're only hurting each other more. Don't you see?

We need each other. I know it's not easy, but we have to work our way through it. We'll be happier at the end of it all, I know.

Love you.

Stan

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A/N: Is Stan right? I dunno, what do you think? ;) Reviewsss... let's go for 50!

36/50


	6. Four

Dear Stan,

Well, there you go. I'm so stubborn, am I? I'm arrogant for not forgiving you. I 'just don't get it.'

You never learn.

Let's review why I'm so stubborn, shall we? My Super Best Friend of twenty-two years, my boyfriend of eight years, and my fiancée of two years, left me in front of fifty people, alone, at our wedding. Why? Because he was cheating on me. I trusted you for my entire life, I fell in love with you the moment I met you, and I thought you felt the same. Then, you ditched our wedding, and admitted to screwing Wendy while we were together.

I hope you don't still think I'm stubborn after reviewing the facts. I also hope you have the minimum amount of brain power required to process the thought that maybe, just maybe, my heart is still fucking TORN INTO SHREDS.

Like you said. We need time. The fact is, I just don't know how much time will be enough. Or if there even is enough time for me to forgive you for what you did to me.

Hopefully now you can see this from my perspective a bit. Some things can never be forgiven. It's like capital punishment - if someone commits a huge murder, and they get the death sentence, then that's an example of something that can never be forgiven. That murderer is never going to be forgiven in his lifetime. And you, Stan, you murdered our relationship, and my jury is currently trying to decide between the death sentence and eventual forgiveness.

No matter how many times you say sorry, it's still up to me, not you.

Anyways. "Four Reasons Kyle Still Can't Take Back Stan Marsh."

Number one. You broke my heart so completely, it should be a crime. Going back to the murder reference, do you think the victim's family would just forgive the murderer like "that"? I doubt it. I still don't understand how you physically could cheat on and leave someone you supposedly 'love', because I know I'd never be able to put someone I love through that much pain, let alone myself. And I'm not sure I want to be with someone that could do that.

Number two. You didn't think. You cheated on me. You left me at the altar. And yet, you didn't even stop to think, "Hey, maybe this isn't a good idea. I love Kyle, so I'm obviously going to come crawling back to him in a few months, but maybe adding insult to injury just isn't the way to win him back." You didn't even think about what you were doing and the consequences. Despite everything you did to me, you still believed I'd take you back with a few strategically played arguments, so you just did it anyways. And that makes me feel like you take me for granted.

Number three. I'm trying to make a better life. I've done everything I can to make it happen: I quit drinking, I quit smoking, I even quit pot. And taking you back would only ruin all my hard work. I'd have to start all over, incorporating you into the equation. I told myself that I'm better off without you, and now, I know it's true.

Number four. You're trying to turn this all around on me. You're a deflector, you always were. It was never your fault, it was always someone else's. Maybe you can't deal with the responsibility, maybe you haven't grown up enough to deal with stress of having done something wrong, I don't know. But whatever it is, it's gotta stop if we're gonna fix this. You have to realize that you brought this upon yourself, and you can't blame me for this.

I know it sounds harsh, but sometimes that's just how life goes. It's time to grow up, Stan. You're old enough to take responsibility for your actions and live up to your commitments. You can't run away from your problems, and leave life at the altar.

One more thing. "One Very Unfortunate And Depressing Reason Why Kyle Is Unprepared To Take Back Stan."

Number one. Stan, after everything you've put me through these last ten months... I think I'm starting to fall out of love with you. I don't love you the way I used to. I've lost all respect I had for you. I don't think it's too late to change it, but I don't know. You're just not the person I asked out in grade nine anymore.

Anyways, I am sorry. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just blinded by frustration and anger. Maybe I do still love you. But unless you get it together, we'll never know.

~ Kyle

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A/N: :O Kyle doesn't love Stanny anymore! What's Stan gonna have to say about that? Review! 75...? Or am I too ambitious?


	7. Three

Dear Kyle,

You don't love me.

You said it yourself. You're falling out of love with me.

After everything I've done, it means nothing? You're not even going to give me the chance to redeem myself? How come, all of a sudden, you don't love me anymore? If you'd said that from the start of all this, I wouldn't have blamed you. But now, after all these months? To be honest, Kyle, I just don't understand.

I think you're jumping to conclusions. I know I still love you, so I'm not going to give up. And deep down inside, I think you still love me too. No two people can go through what we have together for as long as we have and not love one another, at least on some level, right?

But I don't know how to show you anymore. I've done everything, Ky. I begged, I reasoned, I apologized, I confessed everything. What more can I do? I'm not implying that I'm giving up, I'm just wondering honestly.

Maybe this list will open your eyes a bit. All I can do is hope that one of these days you see this from my perspective and realize that I've done everything for you, and I always will.

"Three Reasons Kyle Broflovski Still Loves Stan Marsh."

One. We're twenty-five. We met at age three. Do you realize that we've been best friends for twenty-two years now, Kyle? That's not something that everyone has, you know. We've been through everything together. We've always been there for each other. After twenty-two years, I don't think that it's humanly possible for you not to love me like I love you. You know my every secret. I know all of your secrets, too. We've fought before, (on a smaller scale, I'll admit), but we always came out of it as best friends. The past mistakes have made us all the more strong: if we could get through them and still be friends, that just shows how much we mean to each other. So I think we can do it - we can get out of this situation, too. And we'll be closer in the end when we do.

Two. We were made for each other. Think about it - we've been the perfect match since day one. Your bossiness compliments my laziness - you get me to do stuff I have to do, and I get you to chill when you're too stressed out. Your submissiveness compliments my dominance: you don't mind to bottom, which is really very rare, if you think about it. Your book smarts compliment my social smarts. I know how to start up a good conversation, but you have the knowledge to know what to talk about once it's there. Without you, I'm one incomplete half. You're the yin to my yang. The hot to my cold. We go together perfectly, and that's the essence of love - compatibility. You and I are the definition of compatible. It's impossible for me not to love you when you complete me. I would think it would be the same for you.

Three. We're there for each other. We understand each other. If you come home from a shitty day at work, I understand you, so I know that you just want to be alone to simmer down, and I let you go to bed alone and I sleep on the couch, because I know that's what you need. If I come home from a shitty day at work, you know that I need to throw away my self restraint and screw you into the shower wall to let everything out. When you go through one of your anorexia phases and you won't eat, I don't freak out on you like your mom does, and you get over it in a week. And when I go through one of my depression phases, you let me cry into your chest until I fall asleep. We help each other through the bad parts of life in a way that's even bigger than friendship. We're good for each other in the long run. When I'm angry, you don't get angry. That's a very amazing asset in a partner - one that I have always valued in you, and always will.

Well, I've let my desperate ranting go on long enough, I suppose. If you still don't think you love me, then there's nothing I can do. I can only hope that we'll still be friends and that I won't be put into a mental institution because the one thing that was always constant in my life ended.

One more thing. "One Reason Stan Knows Kyle Will Always Love Him"

One. Because I love him.

Simple enough.

Love you more than you'll ever know,

Stan. _  
A/N: *Insert 'awwww' here* So what's Kyle gonna say to that? :O 67/75 Reviews, guys!

Keep 'em coming!!! Love yous! 


	8. Two

Dear Stan,

I'm sorry I said that I don't love you. Maybe I didn't mean it. But right now, it seems like the truth to me.

Why now? Why not earlier? Believe it or not, this isn't all of a sudden. I've felt like this ever since the wedding, Stan. You cheated on me and walked out on me, so don't act so surprised when I say I might not love you anymore. Over the last few months, with these letters, you've made me realize everything about you. And I've realized that the bad things are more than the good things. But maybe you can convince me I'm wrong. No - I hope you can convince me I'm wrong.

Because I know you love me, and I want to love you too.

You're right: we have been through a lot together. And we've fought before, but maybe this is the limit. Everything ends eventually, and maybe our relationship was meant to end here.

I realize everything you've done for me, and I try to appreciate it as much as I can. But there's still something missing. You still have to understand my point of view. Really, truly understand it. Up until now, all you've done has tried to convince me that I should love you, and that you are right about everything. Try to think about what I would say back before you say it.

Well, we're almost done. Down to two already! "Two Reasons This Isn't Over Yet."

Number one. So. You made some rather interesting points. Let me rip them to shreds for you! The one about how we've been friends for a long time and how we should love each other is bullshit, even you have to realize that. So what if we've been friends this long? Who said that makes everything right? Like I said: everything ends eventually. And one other thing - you think you know everything about me, but you don't. You think you know what I want. If I 'have a shitty day at work', the last thing I want is isolation. I always figured you were just pissed off that I was grumpy on days like those. I never actually figured you'd be so ignorant to assume that I like sleeping alone when I'm upset. Next time, try using logic to back up your arguments. And when there is none, don't use those arguments.

Number two. Maybe we do compliment each others' personalities. Sometimes, but definitely not always, as you implied. You're laid back, I'm strict. Check! You're social, I'm smart. Check! You're dominant, I'm submissive. I get it. But you forgot to mention the millions of times we've not been in perfect accordance. You're athletic, and I hate sports. Wrong! You're a partier, and I like to stay home. Wrong! You're into kink, and I can't stand it. Wrong! Please play again.

Stan, I know that I sound harsh, but I'm glad you're not giving up. Maybe I'm not showing it very well, but I think things can change. We'll just have to wait and see, is all. We have to really want things to change. I know you do, but right now, I think that if things changed, they would be worse. I just hope I'm wrong.

One more thing. "One Good Reason Kyle Is Being Stubborn To Stanley".

Number one. February 13th, 2014. Otherwise known as the day I came out to you. I told you I like guys, and I asked if you were going to beat me up like I knew Cartman would. You laughed and kissed me, and told me that you'd never hurt me as long as I lived. You promised.

I hope you understand. People who love others don't break important promises. At least, I thought so.

It's been this long, and I'm still hurt about it. About everything. It'll take a lot to get over it, I'm sure.

Sincerely,

Kyle

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A/N: :O

Stay Tuned! (86/100) I love you gahz. Srsly.

PS, to Kayla, (the anonymous reviewer who asked about making a trailer) OF COURSE you can use the story! Thanks for making my day!! *hearts*


	9. One

Dear Kyle,

Well, I guess this is it. Down to one reason. And I've realized something, Kyle: I can't make you love me in one short letter.

Love takes a lifetime to unfold. It's complex and takes everything out of you, and, at the same time, is everything in you, too. We're built on love, and I shouldn't have taken it for granted, and now, it's too late. It's taken us our entire lives to develop our relationship, and I ruined it. And since we don't have another lifetime to work it out, I guess it's over. I'm going to hate myself forever for what I did to us. As I should.

You are completely right. I was arrogant in assuming this could be fixed. But now I know that it cannot.

Well, here's my last list. That's right, I only have one this time. I call it, "The Ultimate Reason."

The ultimate reason is as follows: Kyle Broflovski should not take Stanley Marsh back as a boyfriend, or even a best friend for that matter, because Stan has realized that Kyle is completely right, and that said Jew can do much better in life without having Stanley dragging him down. Stan has also realized that he can never amount to even a fraction of that which Kyle deserves. If Stan was in Kyle's position, he would feel the same as does Kyle currently.

Stanley would also like to mention that he is a shitbag, and Kyle is life.

I love you more than air. More than food, water, more than anything in the world. But none of that matters, because you deserve so much better than a douche like me who only cares about himself. I let you down that day at school in 2014. I made a promise I should've been able to keep, and I broke it. And I'll have to live with it forever.

We're very different people, you and I: you're probably going to marry the true man of your dreams, you're going to forget about me, and you're going to be happy. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. But me - you`re my everything, and I could never fall in love with anyone else but you. I'll never be happy again. Not that I deserve it.

It's odd, isn't it? This all started with one stupid thing I did: I walked out on our wedding. A simple, thoughtless act. A split-second decision that would ruin my entire life. And it has completely devoured our entire lives. It's broken the strongest relationship South Park has ever seen. Not to say it isn't my fault, however. I just think it's amazing how life can take one stupid action and make it ruin me. The world truly is an interesting place, wouldn't you say?

So, you've won. I finally see things your way, and I now see that you were right in every single word you wrote to me. I've given up. You don't love me, and it's my fault. I've finally stopped lying to myself that I deserve you. I fucked everything up, Kyle. I'm so sorry.

Let me know if you want to stay in touch, as I'm moving to Manhattan soon, so I'll have a new address. I'm starting a new life for myself, but that doesn't mean I don't want the good things from my old life there, too. Only if they want to be there, of course.

I'm sorry things went the way they did.

Love you forever,

Stan.

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Stick around for an **Epilogue!!**

... sorry for a LIFELONG update. Exams = death.

95/100 ..... i luffs you so much :)


	10. Zero

It was yet another snowy Sunday night in South Park, and Stan Marsh had just finished packing away all his things into cardboard boxes.

The small house was silent except for the noise of scratching markers on cardboard and the occasional shifting of boxes. Stan sat down on his bare mattress, having packed all his blankets and sheets away for the big move the next day. The house was lonely, but that had nothing to do with the lack of furniture.

After resting for a few minutes, Stan stood up and proceeded to the bathroom to wash his hands clean of the dust his empty old house had accumulated. The black-haired young man stood silently for a moment, having thought he'd heard a sound. He shook it off and washed his hands.

He dried his fingers roughly on the towel he'd left out of any box for the very last night he'd be spending in Colorado. He stopped short, sure that he'd heard something once more. He jumped, hearing the noise again.

He forcefully pulled up the blinds to the bathroom window. He wore a look of sheer bewilderment as a good-sized snowball made contact with the window. Stan frowned and lifted the pane.

"Who's there?" he called into his backyard. Silence. Stan strained his eyes, trying desperately to see through the dark blanket of night to find the perpetrator, but, alas, it was of no use. Just as Stan was about to close the window, another snowball came rocketing up at him with great speed. Stan had no time to react, and thus, the snowball his him square in the face.

"Hey!" Stan called as he brushed the stinging snow out of his face, drying up the remains with his bathroom towel. He scowled when he heard a distinct snicker from below. "That's it..." he muttered.

Quickly closing the window, Stan bolted down the stairs, taking them two at a time, and twisted and turned through the house to get to the back door.

Upon shoving open said door, Stan poked his head out into the cold. Having neglected to put on socks, a coat, or even his favourite red-and-blue hat, Stan hoped he wouldn't have to step outside. Stan cringed as he heard the packing of snow from out in the yard, and Stan carefully tiptoed outside, snow burning his feet.

"Hello?" Stan said, shivering.

Another snowball came speeding towards him, but Stan was ready this time, and swiftly dodged the snow. He quietly approached the source of the projectiles, crossing his arms in a futile attempt to get warm.

After a few more steps, Stan could barely make out a figure in the dark. It was short and small, as far as Stan could discern. "I can see you! Give it up, I've got you cornered!"

The yard went silent. Stan jumped when a loud, familiar voice shouted, "Never!" and began promptly pelting packed packages of snow in Stan's general direction. Stan groaned, covering his face with his now-frozen hands as a number of snowballs ambushed him.

When the attack had seemingly subsided, Stan lowered his hands and continued to approach his assailant. He only wished he'd thought to bring a flashlight! Suddenly Stan remembered his cell phone. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone, sliding it open and shining the overly-bright display screen in the petty criminal's face.

"I-Ike?"

Stan had been expecting some little kid or even Kenny or Cartman, but not Kyle's younger brother. Though he was probably sixteen or seventeen, Ike hadn't grown much since he'd seen him last. Ike groaned, dropping the snowballs that were currently in his hands. Stan closed his phone and directed the young Canadian and himself back into his house.

Once the two were inside, Stan began his bombardment of questions. "Ike, what are you doing, throwing snowballs at people this late at night?" he demanded in irritation. Ike blushed, and brushed a chunk of snow out of his messy black hair.

"I can't tell," the teenager stated simply. Stan glared at the boy. "I can't, sorry," Ike said again.

Stan rolled his eyes. "Did Kyle put you up to this?" Stan asked bluntly. Ike paused, before nodding slowly. Stan raised his eyebrows. "Is...is Kyle in town?" Ike nodded again. Stan used to hate Kyle's brother's snitching quality when he and Kyle were younger, and trying to keep their relationship on the DL, but now, Stan actually found it quite helpful.

"What's he doing here in South Park?" Stan asked hurriedly. "Where's he staying? Did he say anything about me?"

Ike motioned for the older male to slow down. "I don't know why, but Kyle's at our place. He said he missed us and wanted to come for the weekend, but I know he's lying, because he doesn't miss me at all," Ike said with a hint of childish jealousy and scorn. Stan mulled this over. If Kyle was only staying the weekend... then Stan would have to move quickly if he was going to see his former friend before the both of them would have to depart in the morning.

Stan looked back down at Ike. He bit his lip and glanced at his watch. It was nearly eleven at night, but Stan didn't care. He bent down quickly to kiss the top of Ike's head, and ignored the teen's protests as he dashed up the stairs and into his bedroom.

The young man hurriedly shoved his feet into some socks, threw on his coat and hat and ran back out into the hallway and down the stairs. Ike stood by the front door, looking positively bewildered. Stan threw his shoes on and threw the door open, sprinting down the ice-covered street towards Kyle's house.

Stan didn't stop when his lungs started to burn. He didn't stop when his knees started to wobble. He didn't stop until he'd reached the sidewalk outside of the Broflovski residence. He proceeded up the path to Kyle's door without even a thought as to what he would say should Kyle's begrudged parents answer the door. Luckily, neither of said people did once Stanley had rung the doorbell.

It took a great deal of self-restraint upon making eye-contact with Kyle for the first time in almost a year to not jump the poor man's bones. They simply stood there for a moment in perfect silence. Only when Kyle's mother yelled down the stairs for Kyle to shut the door, did Kyle let Stan in, where they proceeded to stare at one another for another few moments. Finally, the redhead snapped out of it, and smiled.

That smile. God, how Stan had missed it. Kyle's bright orange waves of hair and glistening green eyes, pale skin and pale pink smile. He'd missed him so much.

Stan didn't even get a chance to say a word before Kyle embraced Stan. Stan felt terrible when a tiny drop of warm moisture his the back of his coat, a tiny tear. Stan buried his face in the crook of Kyle's neck and breathed slowly. God, he smelled so good. Just like he'd remembered. It was a sweet mixture of shampoo and chocolate, despite the redhead's inability to eat chocolate due to his diabetes. Stan had always wondered about that smell. Stan leaned up and whispered into Kyle's ear. "Sorry."

"Love you," Kyle whispered back.

Stan shook his head. "Why?"

"'Cause you finally got it. You're not selfish anymore."

Stan said nothing, simply pulling away to kiss the Jew. He held Kyle's head through his hair, and forced them as close as humanly possible. Kyle draped his slender arms over Stan's shoulders. The black-haired male pulled back slowly, their lips almost touching, but not quite.

Stan bit his own lip and avoided Kyle's eyes.

"I... can't," he said finally, backing away from his friend. "I hurt you too much, Kyle," Stan murmured.

Kyle shook his head and tried to get Stan to kiss him again, but he backed away. "Stan, just forget about it, okay? I'm not mad anymore."

Stan said, "Yeah, but you should be."

Kyle forcefully grabbed Stan's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. "Stan, we're gonna go upstairs now, and we're going to have sex. And tomorrow, I'm going to miss my bus to Denver, and you're going to miss your flight to Manhattan. And then, we're gonna get married, and have an amazing life." It wasn't a question, simply a statement.

"But my house - "

Kyle interrupted him. "Doesn't matter."

"And my flight - "

"Stan."

Kyle gave his friend a look. Stan sighed and kissed the Jew softly.

The two proceeded upstairs, where they followed Kyle's plan to the letter. They had sex. They missed their transportation out of South Park. They were legally married one month later. They lived extraordinary lives together with each others' complete and total trust and love. They were the happiest men in the world as far as they were concerned, until the day they died. Even then, their souls continued their incredible legacies in ways much too beautiful to describe in words. The only way one could truly understand the story of the strongest love in the world, would be to experience it for themselves.

FIN

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DERP. Sorrrrrrry!! Long update!! Crappy update!!! BAD ENDING! Apologies!

Man, I spent FOREVER writing this chapter, honestly. I have like twenty files of FINISHED epilogues that I wrote for this story and I just couldn't get it right. Especially the ending. Which I failed at.

But review, please! Constructive criticism, flames, praise, ect.

As a last thinker, how did I do? How would you have finished the story? Just outta curiosity.

Loads of love for those that endured my failing all along :) Stay tuned for my next chaptered story, starting mid March!!


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